In a departure from the usual Japan posts I thought I'd take this opportunity to expound on the differences between the fair and not-so-fair sexes.
I'm not an expert on the subject, nor do I possess a degree in psychology specializing in sex differences in the brain. These are merely my observations about the topic based on my experiences in relationships both romantic and platonic. And here they are! (disclaimer: The following is not representative of either the whole female or male genders, they are only examples…and a lot of it is tongue in cheek)
1. Communication
Where women are avid and almost obsessive in their desire to communicate either with their significant others or with other women, men have a more diffident, casual stance about it. That being, don't reply or acknowledge until the other party thinks you're dead. There are exceptions, namely if the man has a better half who is threatening him into communication. When I asked one of my male friends about his inability to reply to emails, he responded: "But I have nothing interesting to say!" Well, neither do I. I keep a blog to bore people to tears. Emails and phone calls don't need to be wildly entertaining, just to let us know you're THERE. With all the communication mediums out there (email, internet, texting) men should be very scared....
2. Washing the dishes
Okay, not a fun and exciting task but, trust me, women don't have a whale of time doing them either. I confirmed with a girlfriend of mine that leaving dirty dishes in the sink to pile up only aggravated us more rather than the intended effect of aggravating our boyfriends into doing them. Perhaps there really are sex differences in the brain and women are more prone to putting soap onto a sponge and then rubbing the soapy sponge onto used dishes or cutlery.
3. Taking laundry out of the machine
I do my fiancé’s laundry in addition to my own. Why? Maybe I’m a glutton for punishment, but I honestly don’t mind. One time I fell ill and he decided to help me do my own laundry. Since I’d already started the wash, all he needed to do was hang it up to dry (in Asia, we don’t have dryers). He went about it and finished in a suspiciously short amount of time. Later, when he’d left, I got up to inspect what he’d done. I almost laughed outloud because the sheets I’d washed were piled in a clump on top of my drying rack. Okay guys, you heard it here first, objects of the cloth variety don’t dry well when bunched up and, when in humid areas such as Korea or Japan, can even start smelling moldy. Ya might as well leave them in the washer. But it’s the thought that counts.
4. The famous “Oh go ahead. I’ll be fine.” – It’s a fine line
Men take note, when your lady says to you go ahead to do something, you need to study EVERYTHING about the way she said it and the activity you’re taking part in. My beloved and I were hiking in Grouse Mountain a few months ago and I’m like a snail when it comes to hiking anything remotely difficult. I know he’s much faster and told him to go ahead and that I’d see him at the top. I think I actually meant it at the time too. So, he went. The hike was gruelling. The longer it went, the more I expected to see my fiancé waiting to make sure I was alright. Nope, nowhere in sight, that rat bastard. When I saw the sign indicating I’d made it half way (after about an hour and a lot of sweating) I just about started crying and then contemplated going back down. Yeah, that’d show him, he’d really start to get worried then wouldn’t he? I actually ended up making it to the top but got progressively more and more pissed off as I went. Sure, I said go ahead but I mean c’mon, where the hell is he? I related this story to my friend’s fiancée who heartily agreed that I was right to be mad.
Sound irrational? That’s because it is, it’s the beauty of being a woman and saying things you don’t really mean, but not even realizing you might not mean them at the time. Your best bet is to stay put whenever there might be danger of your girl becoming angry. (note: if in a shopping mall “Go ahead I’ll be fine” really means go ahead and will likely even be suggested by the female. We can entertain ourselves for hours by shopping and your presence probably only hinders the experience)
5. Leaving cabinets open
Oi! If there is something that gets on my nerves its cabinets, particularly kitchen ones, being left open or not quite closed. This may be something specific only to myself. If I’m eating dinner and notice that a cabinet door has been left open I’ll stare at it until I can’t stand it anymore and then get up and close it. If my fiancé is cooking, I will actually stand in the kitchen to close the cabinet doors as he opens and then abandons them.
Men appear to operate by the standard: “Well, I’m going to open it again at some point, so why bother closing it?” Dishes and cups deserve their privacy too, so be a pal and close the cabinet doors.
6. Video games
For awhile everytime I called a close male friend I could count on him to be playing his Playstation while he talked to me. This phenomenon remains a mystery to me. The appeal of these games? You’ve got me. I’ve tried to play but I quickly get bored when I can’t pass a level and lose interest, this goes even for the ever-lasting Super Mario series. Perhaps I just lack ambition. Shooting games such as “Doom” and, I can’t even name another one, cease to be amusing after the first two levels, I get sick of pressing one button on the controller over and over. I once sat through (I was attempting to read at the time) my significant other playing the same level on a racing game about 50 times and each time the same horrible euro-pop track emerged. That song is now embedded into my brain for all time.
I will admit to being very fond of a game called “The Sims” but when I offered that up as a video game I played I was met by scorn from my male friends who informed me that it wasn’t really so much a game as Barbie for the computer. Having loved Barbie as a child I could see why I enjoyed the Sims so much. What’s not to like about watching your character learn to feed themselves and play the piano? But still, I can’t play this game with the same devotion that men give to their Playstations.
And these are a few of the things I observe on a daily basis. Thanks for reading.
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