Socializing as an adult

I'm going on the 3rd month now away from home and hitting that usual bump that I encounter when I'm not in North America. I find this happens in 3 month increments. I'll be doing fine and then suddenly I'm hit with an overwhelming wave of homesickness. This happened in Korea, and Japan so it's no surprise it's happening here too. I thought it might've been muted a bit since I can at least communicate with people but there's a difference from being foreign in an English speaking country as opposed to a non-English speaking one.

When you're in a non-English speaking country you automatically latch on to any English speaker you come across, whether your personalities match or not. Sometimes all you have in common is the fact that you're both foreign. It doesn't matter, in a sea of aliens it's enough of a base to start a friendship. Usually you hang out with your English-teaching coworkers. Social groups spring up surprisingly fast and become strong in an indecently short amount of time. At least this was how it was for me and a good many of the foreigners I knew overseas. You became instant best friends with people you'd known a week, did everything and went everywhere together. Of course groups also fall apart quickly as when you return to your own country you realize you actually have nothing to say to each other. Generally, as far as socializing goes being in a non-English speaking country is a blast.

Australia is different for two reasons. One: I'm not here for only a year and Two: I speak the same language that everyone else here does. This time I'm not an anomaly, like in Korea or Japan. My coworkers are all natives to Australia so there isn't anyone to latch onto (you can't latch to natives, it doesn't work that way it would just seem creepy). Instantaneous friends don't exist in this situation, you have to actually work at it like you would in your home country. Anyone knows that making friends as an adult is usually a lot harder than when you're younger and in school. You need to socialize through work functions first and then later you can maybe go for coffee. In a way it's a lot like dating, you're courting potential friends and it's uphill work! It's harder when the people you meet already have established groups and their own lives to live.

The main purpose of this post was to say that I miss my friends and family back home. The friendships I had there spanned years and those people knew me inside out. Pretty much to the point they could predict what I would do in a given situation. I miss getting together with friends where as soon as I see them I can immediately bitch about a bad day and they'll know exactly what to say to make me feel better.

Anway, I hope all of you back home are doing well. I'll keep you updated on my social attempts! Cheers.

Not Australia Related

Hello out there. I can't believe I haven't updated in so long! First I was plain lazy and then I managed to land a temporary job as a science teacher and have been going non stop since. I was sick the past few days and now have some energy to blog. Excellent.

My post for today pertains to something I stumbled across in my many hours of perusing the internet. I can't remember what led to it but I found an article discussing "SED" or Selective Eating Disorder. I read some of it and I have to say, I just can't agree that this is a legitimate disorder in the way bulimia or anorexia are. To me, it's a product of the over-indulgent, overly-analytical society we live in today.

Apparently, if you suffer from SED you are anxious about new foods. I guess you just can't bring yourself to eat things of a certain texture or taste. It can range from a few foods to omitting entire food groups. While that last part is bit extreme, it still sounds like a lot of bullsh*t to me. Translated I read: "I am picky and now I can excuse it." How many things can we possibly label? Kids today are already over diagnosed and over medicated in my opinion. Isn't this just making it worse? Soon we're going to have excuses for children/adults who don't like to pick up after themselves. Don't worry, make a mess, it's a disorder! We'll send you to pricey doctors for a ridiculous assessment and then medicate you for it! Do you shop too much and go into debt? We'll write your creditors a doctor's note because it's a disorder, you're not responsible for your actions.

I'm not the best of eaters myself. For some reason, I can't stand raisins. Is it irrational? Yes, those raisins never did anything to me. Quite frankly, I don't like the taste. And doesn't it really come down to that with food? You like it or you don't. Why make being picky into a disorder?

Granted, I don't suffer from SED (I hardly think my one untouchable food counts). I don't understand the all consuming anxiety that seems to engulf true sufferers when they encounter those dreaded foods. But it anxiety or just plain disgust? Are we making this into more than it is?

My main problem with labeling diseases/disorders is that I feel like we limit people to working within them. As a teacher, I have seen many students assessed and then accordingly diagnosed with learning disabilities, cognitive disorders, attention deficit disorder and so on. Now, I'm not saying that they don't have merit, I'm sure a great deal of research has gone into it to make it so. But when the child is aware of their condition they can excuse their behaviour within it. I've heard/seen a great many students shrug and say, "My mom says I can't do work because I have such and such." Is making them aware and labeling the problem helping or hurting? If they didn't have the label would they strive more to overcome it? If we didn't outright say it was a problem, would it cease to be one? It's something I've always wondered. I have a friend who believes that had she been in elementary now she would've been diagnosed with ADD. Fortunately for her she: 1. Went to school before Diagnosing Mania began and 2. Had a supportive family. The way she told it is that her parents cared and supported her in overcoming her issues. Did she actually have ADD? Debatable but if given the label, it would've followed her throughout her school career. What does that do to a child? Or an adult for that matter?

Diagnosing has it's benefits and can be very valid, don't get me wrong, I just think we tend to overdo it. Sometimes, don't we just need to take responsibility for our actions?

Those are my rambling thoughts at this late hour. Hopefully I made some sort of point. I tend to veer off in different directions as I write.

Mission: Friends

I don't usually think of myself as a creepy person. That is not until I get to a foreign country. I'm in Melbourne where, aside from Will, I don't know a soul. I don't like not knowing any other souls. My soul likes getting to know other ones. After feeling panicked because I didn't know anyone, a great opportunity presented itself in the form of an after-school meet-and-greet that also included spouses of the students. Excellent.

Once I arrived at the school I was happy to see that a decent number of Will's fellow students were also married. After chatting for a few moments I felt compelled to immediately go on the offensive and get the numbers of these other lonely souls. Now, I don't do this in Calgary where I already have an established group of friends. Back home it takes days and sometimes months of chatting/working together before the number swap will happen. Being practical I didn't have that kind of luxury to waste as I didn't know the next time an opportunity like this would present itself. Feeling somewhat desperate and more than a little creepy I pulled out my ever-present planner and pen to jot down the numbers of girls who I'd known for a total of 15 minutes. Yes, this is what fear of loneliness does to me. This tactic seemed to have worked out successfully as I have a group of girls that I see with some regularity, our two things in common are that we're not from here and our husbands' are in the same program.

Now I've been hired to work at a school for the next term where many other people also work. While this has potential to create more friends, I can't pounce there, I do have my limits for what's socially acceptable. On a side note, I absolutely hate being the new person. Teachers there have formed their friend groups and have worked together for the whole year if not longer. I'm not good at breaking into already established cliques. I feel like I might as well be screaming, "Be friends with me! I'm nice, really I am! And hey, I have a cool accent!" I never worried about it in Calgary where I already had my network and friends from work were a bonus, not a necessity.

However I'm nothing if not determined. I'll make friends at that school or die trying. Actually dying isn't on my list of fun things to do, I'll modify that to I'll make friends at that school or...I won't. Yes, a much stronger statement! But really, I'm so charming how can anyone resist? :P

Footy and what I don't know about it

I've been in Australia for just over a month now, and working for 2 weeks as a CRT. Yesterday afforded me one of my more interesting introduction to the culture here...footy.

The main sport here in the state of Victoria is AFL or the Australian Football League, they follow Australian Rules Football. The way I understand it is that it's a mixture of rugby and football (not soccer). Not knowing the rules to either I won't elaborate on it. From what I can see they play with a modified football in soccer-like clothing. That's about what I can see. Sorry, I'm horribly unathletic. This translates in being a spectator as well.

The AFL consists of 16 teams, of which NINE are situated in Melbourne alone. This makes for a city full of rabid footy fans. Yesterday was "Footy Day" at the school I was subbing at. The entire day was devoted to Footy related activities and a nearly 2 hour assembly that declared itself to be the "Footy Show". Uniforms were cast aside in favour of team colours and students eagerly tried to recruit me to support their teams. This isn't a phenomenon just among children, adults are much more invested in the sport.

Now I'm from Calgary where I support the local NHL team the Calgary Flames. Hockey is Canada's thing, our unofficial national sport. The major difference is that Calgary unites to support it's team since there aren't EIGHT others to fight over. And there is no song that goes with the Flames. Yesterday I endured listening to 16 team songs, at various points student and staff would stand to enthusiastically join in.

Being an outsider and having no cultural sensitivity to Footy, I sat most of the day completely bewildered by the ardent love of the sport (and doubly shocked when the singing started). I wondered if, in a year or so, I would be singing along when I heard MY team song.

For someone who still can't master the rules of American Football it seems doubtful that I'll pick up Aussie Rules. But I can enjoy the spectacle of others who do appreciate the game.

I Hate Transit

I can't really pretty up the title anymore than that. I grew up in Calgary where if you don't have a car you're condemned to stay at home and starve to death. I've never been without a car, be it my parents or my own. If I had to make a pros and cons list about transit it would look something like this:

Pros:
1. Saving the environment
2. Don't have to worry about parking

Cons:
1. It REALLY SUCKS
2. See number 1
3. See number 2 (you get the idea)

My newly revived hatred of transit began about 3 weeks into my stay in Melbourne and coincided with the commencement of my job. I work as a substitute teacher, or CRT (Casual Relief Teacher) as they're known here. Part of my job description is that I visit a variety of schools, taking over from teachers who are sick or have prior commitments that day. Without a car, this can get somewhat tricky. First some background about Melbourne's transit system.

Okay, the system here isn't at all bad. It's actually quite comprehensive. If you're traveling somewhere close to your home then there's really no problem getting around. The system is comprised of buses, trams and trains. I think the 1st and 3rd are pretty obvious and don't need further descriptions but I will go into the trams. These are akin to Calgary's LRT but much more rickety and squeaky. They are tracked and run on electricity, however, they operate like buses in that you need to indicate you want to get off at the next stop or the driver will just carry on. For the first few rides on the tram, I usually glued myself to the window in the fear that I would miss my stop (which are handily numbered). I'm a bit more relaxed about it now. The transit system breaks Melbourne up into two zones. Zone 1 originates in the city centre and extends at least 15-20 kilometers out (I think). Zone 2 covers areas outside of zone 1, and is generally the suburban areas of Melbourne. Zone 1 tickets are $3.50 one way and Zone 1 and 2 together will cost you $5.50. Now back to my initial carping.

The company that I work for generally calls the night before to inform me of a job opening. Once I accept said job I then open up the transit site on the computer and proceed to obsessively map out a route to the school. This can take anywhere from 15 minutes to about an hour (I'm serious). I first look at what the site suggests then take matters into my own hands by pulling out the transit map and poring over the train, tram, and bus routes closest to the site. Once I've settled on a route, I consult the website for the timetables of each vehicle and then coordinate accordingly. These nightly productions leave me worn out and unenthusiastic for the day ahead. So far my job assignments have been far enough away that it takes me two hours to get there and I travel through both zones. Yesterday my route included: tram, train #1, train #2, bus. Spending 2 hours (one way) walking, tramming, training and then busing is not my idea of a good time. At the end of a chaotic day my desire to get back onto a bus is about as strong as my desire to poke my own eyes out. Not to mention I'm spending about $50 on transit a week.

To rectify the situation and after much complaining and whining after only 3 days of using transit extensively (yes, I am that spoiled) we have now bought a car. Nothing fancy, just a '94 Toyota Corolla that'll get me from point A to B in some comfort. Yes, I'm leaving a carbon footprint and no, I don't care. As for parking, pfft, I can always use a pay lot.

So here's to my last week of transit and to my upcoming life of absolute luxury.

Accents and Textas

Living in Australia, I'm surrounded by the accent. It's sometimes grating on my ears and other times I hardly notice it. Now that I've started teaching I get the frankness of children staring open-mouthed at me when I tell them I'm from Canada. It's strange to be considered the one with the accent. Don't they realize I speak real English and they're the ones who are doing it wrong?

Today I asked students to guess where I was from this resulted in the following:
Me: Where do you think I'm from?
Student 1: America!
Me: No, try again, it's really close to America.
Student 2: USA!

Okay, I'm going with the assumption that the second student either didn't hear the first guess or thinks "America" referred to the continent as a whole and wanted to be more specific. In any case I informed the class after more unsuccessful guesses (I did wonder why Canada never entered their minds, I guess we really are that far off the map) that I was Canadian. They seemed flabbergasted and the general response was to say "Wow..." in appreciative disbelief.

After I set the group's project for the hour I walked around the tables looking at their progress. When one student asked me for a "rubber" (*giggle*) I said: "Oh, the eraser is over here." At which some kids looked confused. To further the confusion, there was another exchange that went like this:

Student: May I use a texta?
Me: I'm sorry, what did you want?
Student: Can I use a texta?
Me: What is a texter? (I'm saying it incorrectly)
Student: You know, to colour.
Me (now completely baffled): A pencil crayon?
Student: No, a texta!

At some point another student took pity on me and showed me the "texta" in question. For the North Americans out there, it's a marker. In Australia, they have different words for different thicknesses of markers. "Marker" means a large tip marker, "texta" is medium, and "felt-tip pen" is fine tip. After this minor debacle I overheard this comment: "Well, she does speak Canadian."

Canadians back home will be happy to discover we have our own language! It's eerily similar to Australian and American but just different enough to be declared separate! I look forward to future word tangles and will update you all accordingly.

My lack of Midnight Sun

This is completely unrelated to anything Australian but I wanted to make a note about my current favorite series.

Since it was recommended to me by my former educational assistant's daughter, I have been hooked on a teen series called Twilight. For a short summary it chronicles an unlikely romance between a normal girl and a vampire. Yes, for those of you unfamiliar with it I know it sounds cheesy but it's the best thing I've gotten my hands on in a long time. I bought the first book, read it in one day and promptly bought the second, third and then fourth books (which I sped through in similar style). My recent pastimes have included obsessively re-reading all four books.

Apparently the last of the series, Breaking Dawn incited such strong hatred in so many former fans that they attempted to return their copies. I'm sorry, but who returns books that they've already read? It's not like clothing that falls apart after one wearing. I've had the unpleasant feeling of buying a book, reading it, and then discovering that I didn't like it AT ALL. I never once thought about returning such a book. But then, I'm relatively normal. I can't imagine, no matter how rushed an author is, that a publisher/editor would permit them to put out, as it was referred to by some former fans, "garbage." Some people were apparently so horribly offended by this last book that they took it upon themselves to create a website devoted to hating Stephenie Meyer. Yeah, these people were real fans! I went to the website in question and seriously, you have to have something better to do with your time than cultivate hatred. Like hobbies. Hobbies are good, they keep you seated in the real world and help prevent utter devastation from fictional books.

After Breaking Dawn, Stephenie Meyer had planned to publish a 5th tome, Midnight Sun (basically Twilight from the other main character's perspective). It was stupidly leaked and then "proudly presented" by the evil Meyer-hating site, their actual reason for making it available was because they knew she wouldn't have wanted it. The proprietor of the site is probably going to end up somewhere that ends with "double hockey sticks." Now, upon discovery of the leak, Ms. Meyer has put the series on hold indefinitely. This latest news has left me in a funk. A really bad funk. And I know it's going to leave at least one close friend of mine in a similar depression. I love this series and was avidly looking forward to reading a vampire's point-of-view. What am I going to do without my shot of Twilight? I'm like a drug addict stumbling around now, not knowing when or where I'll get my next hit.

I want Ms. Meyer to keep writing dammit! Don't let these idiots get you down. I can understand that fans weren't supposed to see the novel until it was finished. I can understand how betrayed you must be feeling because of this leak. But please don't stop writing, because then you let the nogoodniks win. What I saw of Midnight Sun was beautifully written, I think it's her best work to date. So take some time, calm down, spend time with your family but please keep writing to the fans who adore your work and support anything you create. Ignore the idiots who are, after all, human.

Sticker Shock

While things aren't terribly different between Canada and Australia they are there and mainly in the cost of two BIG (well to me anyway) things. Those being:

1. Internet
2. Coca Cola or other name-brand pop

I will address issue #1: When I lived in Canada, Korea and Japan I didn't know that such a thing as a bandwith cap existed. I figured everyone paid a flat fee and got all the internet their heart desired. I've now discovered, that those down under don't think the same way. Not only are you capped but miniscule amounts of internet are enormously expensive. 400MB per month (which is practically nothing) cost $20. Finding that this wasn't nearly enough we upgraded to 15GB which raised our bill to a whopping $60 (in comparison in Calgary we paid about $35 a month for unlimited high speed). What happens when/if we pass these thresholds? We're slowed right down to a crawling pace at which you can barely check your email. This may seem petty to a great many of you who only use internet for email but for me, it's entertainment and a fountain of information.

Issue #2: Okay, I don't drink litres and litres of Coca Cola a week or anything but WHY is it so expensive?? A regular 2 litre bottle of Coke will cost you, at best, $2.50 (I say at best because this is the price on SALE at a grocery store). I recently bought a 500mL bottle of pop from a convenience store for $3.10. Is all pop imported, is there no packaging plant within Oz? Is Coke so damn popular that they can afford to hike the price as they do? Do they have a monopoly? At least this way I won't be buying pop but once a year or so.


Other things that I've noticed are clothing labels. Let's take Levi's for example. Will loves 501's (even though they're hideously ugly). I think he can get away with paying about $30 or so in the States. How much were they in Melbourne? $110. That's right, we won't be buying Levi's here either. Will and I are horribly cheap people.

At least it isn't as bad as Japan...

After 29 hours of travel torture comes Melbourne

Hello all, I write to you in Melbourne where I have finally gotten access to the internet. I was only 3 days without it but man, it seems like a long time!

I see that I have neglected my blog but with good reason, living in Canada was boring. I love Canada but when you've grown up there and the majority of people reading your blog have grown up there then it's not so interesting to write or read about. But now onto Oz...

I've been in Melbourne now for 3 days and, surprisingly, my jet lag isn't nearly as bad as I'd anticipated. I think partly due to the fact Will did his damndest to make sure I didn't sleep during the day. Usually I'm falling asleep in my dinner or zonking out in front the TV. That usually results in me waking up wide-eyed and alert at the convenient hour of 3 am.

First impressions, it's grey and it rains...ALOT. All 3 days have involved on and off rain and today bizarrely bright sunshine. I've been trying to convince Will that he wants to live in Vancouver. So far I see no real difference, weather-wise that is.

We live in an suburb of Melbourne called "Brunswick West". It isn't the newest neighbourhood out there and our apartment definitely could use some work. There isn't any central heating here so it's cold, though not nearly so much so as Japan where I turned into a veritable popsicle.

Houses here are very Victorian looking. Actually I'm reminded of New Orleans' French Quarter when I look at them. Downtown Melbourne has a similarly decadent feel with a good number of Victorian-era buildings still standing (or at the very least having been restored).

I'm still in the process of figuring out which stores are what and what the equivalents of my favorite clothing places would be. I'll post more later about the Tram system going on here, I still need to figure that out too. Stay tuned for what will hopefully be a more interesting post than this one. I'm begging fatigue as an excuse for the rather boring nature of it.