Being pseudo-Korean in Korea

Although I've been back from Korea for more than half a year now, I'll enlighten you all and what it's like to be considered a native in a country you barely know.

Having been born and raised in Canada, I know next to nothing about my Korean heritage. I can understand a little and speak even less. I can read slowly but my writing is horrendous. It's not something I'm proud of, it's just a fact. About 2 years ago, I had a sudden burning desire to fly off to the country my parents came from in order to discover more about it. Nothing would dissuade me, not threats from my mother or father, nor the continual rejections I received from Korean english schools (as I am Asian, it's assumed I can't speak English correctly). I finally landed a rather good job and took off. About 2 minutes into the flight I thought to myself, "What the hell do I think I'm doing?" and had an equally fervent desire to demand that the captain turn the plane around as I'd changed my mind.

Then, 13 hours later, I landed in Incheon International Airport. Having been awake for nearly a day, I was dirty, tired and unaware of my surroundings. I somehow managed to pass through customs causing the first Korean some surprise that I spoke only in English.

From there on, I was a sort of phenomenon in Korea. The girl who looks like us but can't speak!! How can this be? Why didn't she learn as a child? What were her parents thinking? I almost dreaded getting into taxis where I would, in Korean, tell the driver my destination. A common conversation went something like this:

"Please take me to Beomgye Station." (me in Korean)
"What?" Taxi driver's response to my very bad accent.
"Um, please take me to Beomgye Station?" I repeat this starting to feel impending doom.
"Ah! You're a foreigner!!" Taxi driver is pleased with himself for deducing this fact.
"Well, my parents are Korean, but I was born in Canada." (me in Korean again) This is where I make my fatal error.
"Korean! And they didn't teach you to speak? Why not? All Koreans should at least know how to speak their own language!" Taxi driver continues to moralize me while I realize that the impending doom has arrived and wonder why the drive seems 10 times longer than usual. Not having enough language skills to continue a long conversation I usually laughed weakly and shut up whenever this kind of thing happened. I have since learned the wisdom of agreeing with anyone who assumed I was a foreigner.

Looking Korean could have its benefits too though. I was blessed with anonymity. For instance, on the subway, or anywhere in public for that matter, I wasn't stared or goggled at like many of my Canadian/American friends. I wouldn't be approached by random people asking for English lessons. Of course, once I opened my mouth to speak then all eyes riveted to me as if I had suddenly broken out into song.

I paint a bad picture here. There were a lot of times where I was praised for my pathetic Korean speaking skills. Many appreciated the fact that I tried to talk even if I wasn't always successful in communicating my point.